Or is it the other way around?
Or is it even equally divided?
~ by CatZ on November 29, 2007.
Posted in Blogging, Life, People, Thoughts Tags: men, question, questions, thesis, women
I don’t know if it is genetic or learned but I personally believe that men think of themselves more often than they think of others. If that is how you define selfish, then men are more selfish. Personally, I also believe a lot of it is learned behavior, though. Women are taught and expected to be the caregivers and think of others too. Men are encouraged to go for the gold. Things are changing since a lot of things now are gender neutral and a lot more mothers are trying to teach their sons to be caring too, but maybe part of it is genetic and it will always be the way of men to push forward and say me first.
loopyloo350 said this on November 29, 2007 at 6:35 pm
To be direct, yes, men are more selfish than women.
notfrommars said this on November 29, 2007 at 6:40 pm
men are definitely more selfish!!!
brig said this on November 30, 2007 at 7:55 pm
A friend and neighbor passed this on to me and I thought you might find it interesting. Hope you get a good laugh
Pampurred 15 PIECES OF ADVICE TO BE PASSED ON TO YOUR MOM, YOUR
DAUGHTERS OR GRANDDAUGHTERS, NIECES, AUNTS, GIRLFRIENDS, ETC.
1. Don’t imagine you can change a man — unless he’s in diapers.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
3. If they put a man on the moon — they should be able to put
them all up there.
4. Never let your man’s mind wander — it’s too little to be out
5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature
6. Men are all the same — they just have different faces, so that
you can tell them apart.
7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity
to make some woman miserable.
8. Women don’t make fools of men — most of them are the
9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too
old for it.
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40
years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn’t ask for directions.
13. If he asks what sort of books you’re interested in, tell him
14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him
jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal.
Send this to 10 Bright Women to make
loopyloo350 said this on November 30, 2007 at 8:49 pm
LMAO, that’s some funny stuff loopyloo350, thanks
catzel said this on December 3, 2007 at 4:38 pm
Men are more selfish. I have a father, twin brother and boyfriend and they are all the same. The thing is they never THINK to ask what another person (usually a woman) may want or (an even bigger step for their brains) use their Initiative and give it to you or act without the need for constant prompting (what they would refer to as nagging or being bossy.) They are, quite simply, always to busy thinking about their own wants and needs. They are not empathatic individuals and unfortuantly (in day to day life) women are. But remember, as far as I’m concerned, just makes us bigger beings. When women do things for another it becomes expected and soon, nothing out of the ordinary, and then complained about if we are not doing it correctly or if we don’t do it, or not noticed at all because it’s become ‘the norm’ in their minds. If a man puts effort in he wants a f**king medal or something else! Or, in a lot of cases, it is because they are creeping and trying to make up for something they have done wrong or haven’t done.
private said this on January 18, 2008 at 4:11 am
so right! I can just see my husband when he does something, looking at me and expecting me to say thank you, Honey, that was soooo nice of you to do that! And we’ve been married 37 years. I don’t know if younger men are much better, it depends on how they are raised a little bit, but I honestly think it is just their nature. I have three sons and one helps without question or asking for reward, another expects to be rewarded whenever he helps anyone and the third falls somewhere in the middle.
loopyloo350 said this on January 18, 2008 at 3:44 pm
Do men get more selfish once they get (further) in a relationship?
catzel said this on January 22, 2008 at 6:46 pm
Truly amusing the self-absorption of the women here…blissfully unaware how people like OPRAH exploit their self-indulgence…ever see a woman opena door for a man or risk her life for one–NEVER HAPPENS!!!
HARD MAN said this on June 10, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Hon, I’m 45 (and female) and open doors for EVERYONE. There are many for whom I’d risk my life, and countless women have done so. Some have died in the act. In fact, some have died protecting their children from violent, narcissistic men.
Happens every day.
Tara said this on July 12, 2008 at 4:47 am
There’s an awfully broad brush being used to tar the male populous here eh?
I have been unfortunate enough to have worked with and met many inconsiderate selfish women, but that does not lead me to believe that the as result of that experience; all or most women are the same…
My (first & v basic) blog is http://www.howsthedaddy.co.uk
jammyjay said this on August 13, 2008 at 11:40 am
It was just a question If you feel women are selfish, enlighten us in how some are…
CatZ said this on August 23, 2008 at 4:17 pm
In my short lifetime, (I’m 23) I’ve seen more women cheat on more men than the other way around. I’ve seen guys get left ending up clueless and confused because of all the lies the girl told. I know guys can cheat and lie too, but as of now it appears that many more women are more selfish and more full of shit. Signed, an honest guy.
mike said this on September 8, 2008 at 9:06 pm
Humans are generally selfish by nature. Cruelness is an innate attribute, we all posses it so to say that a man is more selfish it depends on the situation he is in. Men do think of themselves, but women are selfish because they often consider their children and themselves above all. We are what we are. Why say the other sex is better or worst than the other. We were all created equally by God therefore we are all selfish. Our situation defines just how selfish we are.
Aligirl said this on December 6, 2008 at 2:07 am
Men are more selfish, especially if they were raised by a stay-at-home mom who did everything for them. I’m expected to work full-time, come home, fix his meals, do his laundry, clean his toilet,help the kids with homework, get them ready for bed, and take care of everybody’s needs, while he sits for hours watching TV. If I ask him to take out the trash, it’s always “Wait until the next commercial!” and then it rarely happens. However, I’m supposed to have limitless energy in bed. I’m exhausted all the time – sleep 5-6 hours at the most. I’m a slave, but I have no other choice. A little appreciation would go a long way.
Betty Jo said this on December 21, 2008 at 6:29 am
Hey Betty Jo,
How about this, I work a job the requires me to work 4 – 12hr shifts a week leaving Sun, Mon , Tue as my weekend. My wife works part time when she feels like it and when she is not to “sick”(< 15 hrs a week). I get to do the chores on Mon and Tue, you know clean and vacuum the house, do the grocery shopping, the laundry, get all the dishes washed and put away, basically all the things that have accumulated while I was working. I pack my son’s lunch and set out his clothes for school everyday. My wife rules the TV; I so not get to touch the remote when she is at home. She needs to see her 90′s drama reruns and reality shows you know. As for intimacy, she doesn’t have the energy either, well at least not for me; she did for her boyfriend during their 11 month affair. I am starting to suspect that my wife is taking advantage of my good nature and might actually be a wee bit selfish. I don’t know you tell me…..
abused man said this on February 6, 2009 at 11:34 pm
abused man I feel for you.. Unfortunately there’s too few good men out there! Any women with kids already have too much with today’s high expectancy society.. We are expected to be perfect role models for our kids, great workers and keep a clean out.. My husband expect to be thanked for doing dishes but if I stays up with the kids because they were sick.. I don’t get thanked or a day to recoup.. I’m expected to go to work (where I get blasted for not being there or taking too much time off!!)..
You tell me !! Maybe I should have an affair.. He might actually wake up
Overboard said this on February 21, 2009 at 10:50 pm
After reading this, I think about all that my mom has done for me and how selflessly she did it. Women are generally the more caring and empathetic sex (there’s not much arguing that – females generally are the nurtures). So, in turn, it makes men selfish.
My boyfriend expects me to thank him for every little thing he does. However, when he forgot my birthday, he said I needed to remind him that week. Then, days later, he gives only to make up for the initial faux pas. He is, as he put it himself, overwhelmed by his own world. And it’s a shame because, here I am, working the same engineering job as him and, yet, I expect myself to have this whole other life as an effeminate female. I help him clean his place, take care of his dog, compliment him, drive him around, and buy him all these cutesy, romantic gifts. And, I haven’t received that back.
I am a fool like my mom. Giving myself so much that it drive me crazy emotionally. And, then, I’m the “crazy” one. *sigh*
Anonymous said this on March 13, 2009 at 10:51 pm
You are all selfish. All of you. Every human being. It doesn’t matter what you have between your legs. Listen to your belly aching. Abused Man = selfish. Tara = selfish. Loopyloo = Selfish. If you want to be pissed at something, have some goddamn guts and hate everyone including yourselves. Wussies.
ihatetheinternet said this on March 14, 2009 at 6:30 pm
Men are selfish- the best place to learn this is to listen older more experienced woman talk to eachother. THEY KNOW- been there done that. Thats why it is rare to see older woman remarry. They will all tell you how men are children who just want what they want. İt doesnt have to take a lifetime of misery to learn this lesson. Every woman over 50 will tell you that men are selfish. They cant all be wrong !
emel ersan said this on May 3, 2009 at 12:30 am
It is a known fact that women are of course the most dishonest and manipulative, vain and self serving. Of course there are exceptions to everything. Women are known to lie upto 3 times more than men,generally about things like how much their new pair of shoes cost. Women are more concerned about there appearance, this is why shops are packed with well dressed women buying more and why they block toilets on planes whilst they adjust their makeup.Quite often you will hear a man say “she wears the pants” when it comes to things relating to domestic decisions..this usually means that the women has used every emotional tactic to get her own way that the man realises that it just isnt worth the hassle/toy throwing/tears/ to have an opinion. Usually the women smiles when the man says this in a proud display of selfishness.Generalisaions arent always accurate though and there are some lovely good natured helpful females, unfortunately the majority of them seem to be of an older generation.
sayithowitis said this on May 10, 2009 at 1:48 am
when it comes to relationships the male is the giver sexually and generally when it suits the women who may or may not have a headache. Men generally are on top doing the work whilst the femalelies back. Women will cheat on partners more often than men. When the relationship is over much fewer women will bother to explain why and be truthful about the real reasons.They can be more ruthless in buissness and more concerned about money.Men are more honest about their selfishness where as a women would never admit to themselves never mind some on else
VanityIsNotAll said this on May 10, 2009 at 1:54 am
Humans in general are a selfish species that through greed will eventually destroy everything. We create and allow extreme social injustices and let other humans starve while the rich, who exploit the poor, eat executive lunches and drive polluting 4x4s through the city.There are more similarities to men and women than most would care to admit.Its always the others, never ourselves..take responsibility and show some more love and consideration.
VanityIsNotAll said this on May 10, 2009 at 1:58 am
Some women are more selfish. Some men. Some women aren’t. Some men aren’t. But seriously, no one is defining their terms enough to reach any conclusions. To be selfish is what? To have a completely egotistical paradigm without a idea for anyone outside oneself? Or is it to act selfishly? People using their cerebral cortex to think can believe in altruism and act accordingly. If they are principled. We are talking of humans not apes, those who have the capacity to choose how to act. We’re talking of a diverse species. Evolutionary programing and instinct. Perhaps it leads to some tendancy. But it is humans higher thought that allows them to make any moral choice. Hmmm so perhaps the answer is. All animals are “selfish” male and female because evolutionarily they have developed to be functional, to feed themselves, warm themselves, feed their young. But humans make choices based on higher thought and belief systems. The above opinions I think are prejudice. How can humanity be expected to become moral entitys if they are divided by sex and the sexes team up against one another to say one is more selfish, or whatever. It’s as much sexism as saying that a certain race is limited is racism.
Sam said this on June 6, 2009 at 2:35 am
Men, definitely men are more selfish.
M said this on July 10, 2009 at 9:04 am
Men are more selfish, that’s for sure.
zozo said this on July 15, 2009 at 7:10 pm
Men are definitely more selfish, its always about them in terms of everything…..if they wouldn’t benefit in doin something,they jst dont do it. or as soon as u do wat dey do then u a all of a sudden such a bitch………
soso said this on August 15, 2009 at 8:54 pm
Men are waaaay too selfish.
fuzzyfuz said this on September 25, 2009 at 7:55 am
I came across this thread after googling ‘how to become more selfish’. This was actually the advice of a marriage counsellor whom we’ve been seeing after my wife admitted to being unfaithful. Apparently, I’m not selfish enough.
abd said this on September 29, 2009 at 8:32 am
I haven’t met every man in the world, or every woman. But men are definitely MORE selfish!! (I haven’t tasted every strawberry, but I still know they’re sweeter than lemons, stupid analogy, but get it??)
Men will exhibit unselfishness to a new woman they’re dating, or to a female boss, even to a child. But to a committed, caring women, most men I’ve known are completely focused on getting their own needs met. Period! My high school boyfriend was the only exception to this (sigh, where is he?)
I have a 11 month old with the love of my life. Every time I’ve taken care of something twice in a row (getting cases of water, oil changes, laundry…) he never does it again and expects me to do it infinitely, so he can have more free time. If I ask him to contribute, I’m ‘dumping on him’ Waaaaa!
Here’s another question – Why don’t men GROW UP????
Sonicblu said this on October 28, 2009 at 3:44 am
Men are selfish!! That’s why I’m a lesbian lol
thatswhyimalesbian said this on October 23, 2010 at 9:07 pm
i hate men said this on November 21, 2010 at 2:48 pm
Men are definately selfish animal at all times. Of course they won’t admit it. I have seen many single mother stay unmarried, work and bring up their children unconditionally. But men? They will remarry so that their children, houseworks, or even parents will be taken care of. They are very ego centered but they will never admit it. That’s why they are self-centered!
i hate men said this on November 21, 2010 at 2:51 pm
How disgusting trying to label and persecute men. My last girlfriend who’s children I helped with food and shelter left because she needed a bigger house. She found an ex boyfriend who still quite liked her and would take her into his four bed house.
The selfless acts men go through to sometimes protect women and often get not even a thank you, not just hurts but destroys men.
Lastly there are more women selling their bodies for sex rather than being in loving relationships. They choose to abuse the very act of love making and cheapen it, knowing their are many lonely men out in the world.
RAINORSHINE said this on February 4, 2011 at 5:26 pm
I was looking at this website because I’m trying to decide if I should leave my husband of 7 years. He is quite selfish. It is true that he works about 45 hours a week. I also work full time, I am a full time college student training to be an RN. I do all the housework, get our 3 year old daughter to daycare and pick her up. Schedule my courses and work around his work schedule. I make an equal amount of money as he does, plus all the housework, grocery shopping, lawn mowing and going to the dump on Sat while he plays golf. I think he is addicted to golf. I’ve had numerous talks with him to no avail. I’ve tried to explain how this is selfish but he doesn’t believe it. I’m so tired. I want out but I feel bad for our daughter. Not sure what I’m going to do yet. We are both in our early 40′s and own or own home too. I have found most men to be selfish. I would welcome being single again.
Sherri said this on May 9, 2011 at 1:08 am
I agree with Sonicblu – it’s pretty simple. Women are selfish in dating and with strangers, and selfless in a long term relationship or marriage. Men are the reverse. Most of the posts above cite relationship, family and marriage experiences, so they are only half the story. I look at beautiful young 24 year old single women out on a Saturday night, and it’s all about them. Then when they get to 35, and realise people aren’t so interested, they open their eyes!
John said this on May 22, 2011 at 1:16 pm
Reading above, most men has the integrity to post balanced view; while women don’t.
firstname.lastname@example.org said this on September 10, 2011 at 2:37 pm
it’s their mother’s fault
esmerlda said this on November 11, 2011 at 5:47 am
There are some good men out there..very few if you have one cherish him..a few of my friends have lovely partners that care for them and is in an equal relationship..for myself I would agree with previous comments was very giving in the start of the relationship..further on put he put his own needs before us
shelly said this on May 28, 2012 at 6:29 pm
I agree with sam’s answer however from my own personal experience i have found women to be more helpful and to stick around longer then men do you see i had a disabled relative who i was really close to and i preserved to become an excellent borderline perfect carer for that relative and we had women carers and men carers that came to the house and from what i have seen women tend to care more then men.
Some male community support workers were quite unhelpful and quite immature in real times of need which is the last thing someone who is suffering needs yet others liked complimenting me on what i was doing.
The female community support workers showed more staying power and dedication then men did and the men were quite envious and seemed more interested in saying anything they could to make themselves seem better then the women.
The male support workers went as far as putting down myself and tried to turn my strength into a weakness just so he wouldn’t feel inferior in skills.
The women were also too self sacrificing themselves and were partly to blame for giving far to much then they really should.
Being headstrong and strong minded all the time is not always in your favour it can be detrimental if your not too careful.
Purple Shoes said this on June 16, 2012 at 1:58 pm
Self empowerment and developing a well rounded personality is the responsibility of both men and women, it is their responsibility to work towards true enlightenment and fulfilment not their parents, nor the environment, associates or friends and family.
Any man or women who refuses to develop to their highest selves are just selling themselves short and are just cheating themselves out of true happiness. True happiness can only be attained when you have fully developed both sides of your brain and you can say i have achieved what i set out to do my purpose in life.
Purple LADY!! said this on June 16, 2012 at 2:10 pm
men are very selfish. we need to care for children . my husband never took care of his only child. He took all money and never give any help to his daughter. I see that a lot !!! Women are more caring by nature
Vilnius Emma said this on August 27, 2012 at 5:32 am
All human beings are selfish. In fact all living sentient beings are selfish. No being that lives could survive without selfish thoughts and behaviours. The species that failed to think of themselves and their own individual needs and saftey went extinct long, long ago. Un-selfish behaviour as you would seem to define it here is simply taking care of other members of the functioning unit in society that you work and live within to varying degrees.
The broader your idea of a functiong unit and the greater service you give to it, and thus to humanity in general and thereby to yourself, the more “unselfish” one is. But in reality all behaviour is selfish behavior from a broad perspective that considers all of humanity as one giant living entity. Re: By watering others, we water ourselves. In that sense, we are all just a bunch of selfish assholes, aren’t we? The mistake being made here is everyone is being to specific; the women hating on the men and the men hating on the women. Guys, WE ALL SUCK, OK? YES, EVEN YOU and EVEN ME. The argument is over who sucks more or less and thats a pretty stupid argument to have, isn’t it?
Ron Oswald said this on January 13, 2013 at 7:12 am
I think the problem a lot of women have with men is based on a misunderstanding of the differing priorities of the sexes. Women are molded from an early age (and perhaps genetically inclined) to desire a great deal of order and cleanliness in their environment. Likely ths developed as a consequence of the early role of women in human societies keeping the home sites clean and free of disease while rearing children and preparing food and clothing for the members of the tribe. During these same Nomadic periods men were hunters and gatheres leaving the home or camp sight, if you would, to go out and seek food. With the advent of widespread crop domestication in the Fertile crescent, this Nomadic lifestyle changed but the primary roles of men and women shifted only a little. Up until the mid 20th century the gender roles remained relatively stable in human societies. For various social and economic reasons, these roles are now changing, mostly for women. Most women now both want and often need to work full or part time outside the home to help support their family.
This leaves them less time to take care of the cleanliness and neatness of the home. However, they still feel that deep rooted desire to have things in proper order at home at all times. Men don’t share that same need. We know a certain amount of cleaning and work had to be done around the house but we don’t mind doing it a little bit at a time and we don’t mind doing a few things to relax after a day at work BEFORE setting in on the chores around the house. I have observed that my wife simply cannot be comfortable enough to relax until the house is clean and dishes put up, et.
I do my best to help out but often I either fail to meet her standards for doing the job just the way she wants it done or I do it too slowly for her or if I take even a moment to change out of my work clothes or catch the first five minutes of the evening news, she gets angry, calls me selfish and does the work herself in a huff. So, you see the priorties are different. Most men want nothing so much as to see their wives happy. We love you and when your not happy were not. Also, we all know an unhappy Mom makes for a miserable time at home. As further generations of women become established in the work place hopefully men will adapt better to taking on more of the work around the house and women will learn to be a little more chill about having things “just so”. It does not make men selfish that we don’t seen the need to jump right into that pile of dishes the minute we get home. If we would rather play golf during the morning and do the housework that evening that does not make us monsters. To call a person who gets up and works every day and gives most or all of the profits to the family unit selfish because you don’t like the way he works around the house is a bit stupid, really. The contribution he makes to the family unit through hard work and earning a living is still, cliched as you might think it, a far greather boon than any amount of work he might do around the house.
I’m not saying men should not help around the house, but all this “selfish men” complaing her seems to center on the housework element. I am assuming most of these men earn most of the money for these households (and yes, I realize there be exceptions there). So while the men may not be Saints, any one of us who works our boney butt off to provide a home and food, et for our family and any father that spends time with his kids and helps raise them and love them is not some worthless basterd because he leaves the dishes for you to do every now and again. I mean, seriously, a little reality check seemed in order.
Bert Crocker said this on January 13, 2013 at 7:38 am
For all the folks here that seem so convinced that Men are the more selfish gender, have you stopped to thing about the hundreds of thousands of men who have died serving the cause of freedom for every other citizen living and yet to be born in their country and in foreign countriest as well? In the 20th century alone the majority male sacrafice of life in service to the cause of freedoms shared byt every citizen has been simply staggering. I suppose that these same people who agree to make the ultimate sacrifice of laying down their lives for others sake should be considered inherintley selfish because they don’t help do the dishes and laundry enough around the house. Dishes, clothes washed, anal retentiveness about the home–these are things that primarly women are concerned about. In the grand scheme of things they are pretty insignificant. For women to call men, a gender that has fought and died for their freedoms selfish because we don’t share their grave concern over the dishes being done on time or the house looking like Martha Stewart vomited cliches of modern living in case some other woman might show up sometime is beyond ridiculous and the proof and epitomy of selfishness. Get over yourselves, stop whining and give up this Bullshit. If you don’t want to do the housework, don’t do it. Surprise most of men would not care. We’d probably hire a made or use a dry cleaner or simpy clean what we needed when we needed it the same way we did before we married you. We have more important things to worry about and are not ashamed that enjoying our lives and our children are among them. I’ll let the dirt clothes and dishes sit all day long to have a chance to take my kids fishing or out to the zoo. What you women need to realize is the houswork is SMALL, SMALL stuff in the grand scheme of life. Not giving a shit about it is a sign of men’s wisdom, not selfishness. Being obsessed wiith nesting and having things just so is a pathology that women have inheritted from generations of other women who were forced to engage in these attitutes and behaviours by a society controlled by earlier generations of men who wanted to keep them “busy at home” and therefore under control. You guys need to give all that up. No one wants to live in unsanitary conditions but your obsession with neatness and homemaking is ruining your lives, your childrend and hubands lives in many cases. It’s just not that important ladies. Let that bullshit go.
Voltaire said this on January 13, 2013 at 6:24 pm
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